


Zira, Sweetheart

by Anonymous



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Aziraphale Has a Vulva (Good Omens), Dubious Consent, M/M, Oral Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Post-Canon, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, the whole situation is kind of a grey area
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-23 23:54:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20898200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Gabriel made himself the perfect boyfriend. He didn't mean for him to look like Aziraphale, but there he was. Gabriel wants to pleasure him, but is unsure how. So he goes to the two people who can help him figure it out most: the source and the expert: Aziraphale and Crowley.





	Zira, Sweetheart

Things had been strange since the apocalypse. Good, but strange. Aziraphale was with Crowley now (not strange but very, very good). And he was back on good terms with heaven. Well, he was on terms with heaven. He had made it very clear that he wasn’t working for them, he was on his own side and he was done pretending to be their obedient little agent.

But, despite their problems, Heaven was still doing good in the world, as angels. And Aziraphale was a fan of doing good. So he worked with them. It had all been Gabriel’s idea, really. He was a bully, but not quite a brute. After he heard about the punching incident, he decided some reform was in order. 

Aziraphale simply kept and eye on the field agents, was all. Especially the one sent to replace him. Make sure they weren’t doing anything they shouldn’t, report anything if they did. Come up once a month to talk about it and work with Gabriel to come up with even more ways to make things better. Crowley wasn’t too happy about the arrangement, but Aziraphale liked having some power. He liked feeling like he was doing something important again, and knowing, finally, that the things he did were good and helpful. 

Strange, being in heaven again. Coming up monthly to meet with Gabriel and discuss work. Stranger, walking into Gabriel’s office one month to find himself sitting in Gabriel’s lap.

Aziraphale stopped in the doorway, blinked, rubbed his eyes. But the image didn’t change. Gabriel was sitting at his desk, leaned back slightly in his chair as he read over a report. Nothing new there. But Aziraphale was sitting on his lap, arms wrapped around him, head tucked against his shoulder and...oh God! Kissing his neck.

Aziraphale was frozen. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to think. He let out a strangled little noise in an attempt to make the strange dream (for it had to be a dream) go away. 

Gabriel looked at him. “Oh, Aziraphale. Come on in.” He placed the report on his desk and gestured over. His other hand was under the other Aziraphale’s back, holding him up and close. 

Aziraphale couldn’t move. Probably wouldn’t want to even if he could. His head shook slightly.

Gabriel furrowed his eyebrows. “What's the matter?”

“What-” Aziraphale stuttered. “Why am I in your lap?” 

“Hm?” Gabriel blinked, confused. Then he startled, as if just remembering he left the kettle on. “I’m terribly sorry. Zira, sweetheart, we have a guest.”

Aziraphale felt his body shiver as the fake him pulled his head up. Zira looked at him and blushed. Then he fucking giggled, hugging himself closer to Gabriel as if he was embarrassed. “Sorry,” he said, his voice a slight bit lighter than Aziraphale’s. 

Gabriel smiled at him, running his knuckles gently over one cheek. Zira smiled, leaning into the touch. “So,” Gabriel said, attention turning to Aziraphale. “You have those reports?”

Aziraphale was clutching them tightly, hands turning white. “You did not answer my question.” His immediate shock was wearing off, quickly replaced by the disgust and anger at the scene before him. 

“But, Aziraphale, you aren’t sitting on my lap,” Gabriel said. He was using his business tone, as if everything happening here was perfectly normal. 

Aziraphale gestured wildly to Zira, giving Gabriel a face that said ‘are you kidding me?’. Gabriel followed his gesture, studying Zira. He shook his head slightly. 

“This is Zira,” he told him. “He’s the one sitting in my lap.”

At that Zira smiled, giggling again. He nuzzled his nose against Gabriel’s cheek. Aziraphale wanted to throw-up. 

“Why does he look like me?” Aziraphale still hadn’t moved from the doorway. 

“Ah, well,” Gabriel cleared his throat. “It hadn’t been my original intention.”

“What was?”

“Just someone to be with,” Gabriel said. “As you are with Crowley.”

Aziraphale’s body relaxed a little bit. “What are you talking about?”

Gabriel adjusted in his seat, leaning back further and wrapping both his arms around Zira. Zira in turn placed a hand on the back of Gabriel’s head, scratching it softly as he gazed lovingly at him. 

“You’re little affair with Crowley has inspired something in me. I decided I wanted someone that I could be that close to as well. So I made one.”

Aziraphale had to grab the door frame to stop himself from falling over. “You-you made one?”

“It’s not that hard,” Gabriel said. He touched Zira’s cheek again. “And Zira here is perfect.”

Zira’s blush deepened and he curled in against Gabriel, as if embarrassed. “Oh, Gabriel.” He smiled and placed his head against Gabriel’s chest. 

“You’re insane,” Aziraphale said. “You can’t just do this!”

Gabriel placed a hand on Zira’s head, hugging him close. He shrugged. “Why not?”

“Because! This is like...kidnapping? It...it...it’s wrong!”

Gabriel sighed, his face turning to boredom. “Really, Aziraphale. There’s no need to over react. It’s not like I captured some human and forced them to love me. Zira enjoys being here. He enjoys being with me.”

“Because you made him.”

“Exactly.” 

Aziraphale felt like he had stepped into some alternate reality, where absolutely nothing made sense. He made a strangled noise and clenched his hands to avoid strangling the archangel. 

“Look, it’s really no different than The Almighty designing certain humans to be artists or musicians. Just because Zira was designed for me doesn’t mean it’s not what he wants.”

“But he can’t want anything else,” Aziraphale said. He finally stepped into the room, hoping to get through Gabriel’s thick skull. “The difference is that those humans have a choice, Gabriel. He doesn’t have any other choice. You are forcing him to love you.”

Gabriel frowned. His fingers tapped against Zira’s body and his body stiffened. Noticing this change, Zira’s head rose. He grabbed Gabriel’s face, concern in his eyes. “Gabriel? Is everything okay?”

Gabriel looked at him, frown lifting but not smiling. “Zira, would you rather leave or stay here with me?”

“Oh! Oh I want to stay here with you!” Zira kissed him and Aziraphale had to look away. “Please? Please let me stay!”

Gabriel’s face softened and he kissed Zira on the cheek. “Of course, sweetheart. I’m not letting you go.”

Zira smiled and let out a happy sigh. “Good.” He curled back up against Gabriel’s body. 

Gabriel looked back at Aziraphale. “There,” he said. “A choice.”

Aziraphale bit back a groan. “You’re insane,” he said. “No. You’re sick. And I’m leaving.” He turned and stormed away.

“Aziraphale, wait!” Gabriel called after him.

Aziraphale rolled his eyes, turning around in the doorway. “What?”

Gabriel held one hand out to him. “The reports?”

Aziraphale dropped them on the ground. “Don’t expect any more!”

-

“Wait, wait, wait.” Crowley shifted on the couch, pulling one leg under his body. “He looked like you?”

“Exactly,” Aziraphale said. His hand was still shaking as he took a gulp of wine. “Down to every detail.”

“Every?”

“Well, he was wearing clothes but as far as I could see yes!”

Crowley flopped back against the couch. “Wow. Well, that settles that. I’m gonna kill him.”

Aziraphale shook his head, grabbing Crowley’s hand. “You can’t kill him, darling.”

“Why not? He made a fucking sex doll of you or something! I think it’s within my right!”

Aziraphale chuckled. “No, dear. I mean you can’t actually kill him. You won’t even get close.”

Crowley frowned. He crossed his arms and sank back into the cushions. “Okay, well, I gotta fuck with him some way.” He snapped his fingers. “Oh! I know! I’ll discorporate all his field agents! Think of the paperwork!”

“You can’t leave Earth unprotected like that,” Aziraphale said.

Crowley sighed. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say it sounds like you want him to get away with this.”

Aziraphale shifted closer. He leaned his head against Crowley’s shoulder and finished his glass. “It’s creepy,” he said, “but I don’t believe it was his intention for them to look like me.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, he told me he didn’t mean to do it.”

Crowley scoffed. “He probably just said that cause he got caught.” He scowled. “If I ever see him again I’m gonna...I’m gonna…” he balled his hands into fists and punched the air. 

Aziraphale chuckled and snuggled in closer. “I’ll hold him, you punch.”

“And excellent plan.”

-

Gabriel really hadn’t meant for Zira to look like Aziraphale. (He hadn’t meant to call him Zira either, but it felt wrong to look at him and call him anything other than a form of his name). He really had just mean to create someone to love him. But as he went about the process, Aziraphale kept sneaking into his head. He had had a great admiration for Aziraphale, after all, and if it wasn’t for Crowley maybe something could have happened between them. Thoughts like that were why Zira came out looking like he did. 

Gabriel almost had thought about starting over. After all, he had feared the response to it that Aziraphale gave. But Zira really was perfect. In every way. He was loyal, and smart, and above everything else he loved Gabriel. Loved him no matter what. Even if Gabriel didn’t understand something, Zira would kiss him and tell him it was okay. If Gabriel ever made a mistake, Zira would run fingers through his hair and tell him he was amazing. And, of course, there was the way that Zira did everything Gabriel asked of him. 

Not that Gabriel would ever ask him to do something he didn’t want to do. Although, Aziraphale’s conversation with him had left him a little more than concerned, wondering if there ever was anything that Zira didn’t want to do. But shortly after Aziraphale had left, Zira kissed Gabriel’s cheek and told him how much he loved him and Gabriel knew that Zira wanted all that Gabriel offered him. 

There was only one thing wrong. One missing component. Something that Gabriel hadn’t accounted for, and was a little surprised by. 

Zira wanted to have sex. 

He never had come right out and said it, of course. But that first day he was made he had climbed into Gabriel’s lap at his desk (ignoring the rather luxurious couch Gabriel had made for him by the window) and had started kissing him all over. Whenever they were alone, Zira was all over him. Not that Gabriel minded. He figured it was some residual bit of having Aziraphale’s body. Form fits nature and all that. 

But here’s the problem. Gabriel had never had sex before. Sex with someone you loved was not a sin, but Gabriel had never loved someone before. Maybe had gotten close with Aziraphale. But he loved Zira, of that he was certain. And he wanted to give Zira everything. If Zira asked him for sex he would do it in a heartbeat. But he didn’t know how. And Zira deserved only the best, so he figured he ought to learn. 

-

Crowley moaned into Aziraphale’s mouth. Aziraphale’s hand pressed harder against Crowley’s erection, rubbing him through his pants. Crowley growled and gently pushed him away. “Bed,” he said, unable to for full sentences.

“Not yet,” Aziraphale said, giving him a devious smile as he continued their kiss. Crowley whimpered under his touch. The bell above the door rang. 

“Who is that?” Crowley asked. Aziraphale pulled away, sitting up on the couch, listening to the room next to them. 

“I’m not sure. Wait here. I’ll go check.” Aziraphale climbed off the couch and Crowley rushed after him.

Gabriel was in the shop. Zira was with him. Zira had picked up a book from one of the shelves, eyes lighting up as he read over it. Gabriel stood behind him, hands on his waist, pressing a soft kiss to the back of his head. Back in his office, an entire wall of bookshelves was being miracled into being.

“Holy shit,” Crowley said. “He really does look exactly like you.”

Gabriel and Zira looked to them. Zira put the book back and pressed against Gabriel, grabbing his arms and wrapping them around his chest. 

“Crowley,” Gabriel said. “Excellent. I need to speak with you.”

“Yeah I got a few choice words for you, too,” Crowley growled, his hands at fists by his side. 

“What are you doing here, Gabriel?” Aziraphale asked. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the way Zira’s hands rubbed Gabriel’s arms, the way he smiled and leaned into him. He wondered if he would have such an adverse reaction to this whole situation if he didn’t look like him. No. It was still weird.

“I need Crowley’s help with something,” Gabriel said. Zira giggled and Crowley startled, as weirded out by the giggling as Aziraphale had been. 

“With what?” Crowley asked. 

“Uhm, well.” Gabriel glanced at Aziraphale, a tinge of pink in his cheeks. “I would like to know exactly how you pleasure Aziraphale. Sexually.”

Crowley sputtered and stumbled backwards. Aziraphale grabbed him, pushing against his weight to hold him up. Crowley kept trying to speak, but he just kept stuttering.

“As you can see, my Zira here is physically built like Aziraphale. And I figure that you would know the most about making him feel good.”

Another giggle from Zira as he held Gabriel closer. “He’s awfully considerate like that.”

Crowley really did look like he was going to faint. 

“One moment,” Aziraphale said, dragging Crowley to the back room. He sat him down on the couch and poured him a glass of wine, holding it to his lips. 

“What happened?” Crowley said, taking a sip and shaking his head. “I blacked out. What happened?”

“Gabriel asked you teach him about having sex with me,” Aziraphale said. 

“Yep. That’s what I thought.” Crowley took the glass from Aziraphale and gulped it down. “What are we going to do? How do we get him out of here?”

“W-well…”

Crowley sat up. “No, no! No well!”

“It’s just…”

“No just!”

“You don’t have to do anything, dear. I’ll show him.”

Crowley stared at him, then reached over and grabbed the bottle of wine, drinking straight from the bottle. “Please tell me you’re just playing some kind of cruel joke on me.”

“I’m not, dear. I would never do something like that.” Crowley took another swig. “I know you’re uncomfortable with his request, so I’ll handle it. After all, who knows my body better than me?”

“But I thought you were against this! I thought it was kidnapping? Slavery? All that stuff you were talking about earlier.”

Aziraphale frowned. “I know. It’s still wrong. But...Gabriel wants to make Zira feel good. That has to count for something. And it’s not exactly like we can stop him from existing. I feel like it’s my responsibility to make sure that he’s taken care of. If I can help him lead a happier life, then I will.”

“Yeah, cause a good fuck really makes life so much happier.”

“It certainly can improve it.” Aziraphale leaned down, palm pressed to Crowley’s groin. “I thought you’d agree on that.”

“Ngk!” Crowley shrank into the couch, pushing his hips up against that pressure. 

Aziraphale smiled. “I won’t be long, dear.” He went back out to the shop. 

Crowley growled, downed the rest of the bottle, and chased after him.

-

They had decided that the bedroom was the best place for it. But not on their bed, of course. Crowley had miracled up a bigger bed, one that would comfortably fit the four of them with plenty of space between so there was no accidental touching. 

Zira and Gabriel watched as Crowley grabbed Aziraphale’s waist, pulling him close and kissing him. Zira grabbed Gabriel’s face and kissed him, with a passionate fever that made Gabriel stumble back a few paces. 

Crowley did his best to ignore them, focusing on Aziraphale. His fingers made quick work of the buttons on Aziraphale’s vest, taking it off carefully. (Once, Crowley had ripped one of Aziraphale’s shirts off in his desperate need to get contact and Aziraphale hadn’t spoken to him for a week, even after he miracled it back to perfect condition). 

He got distracted half-way through unbuttoning Aziraphale’s shirt. He heard the bouncing of springs and looked over. Zira had pushed Gabriel onto the bed, was straddling him as they kissed, tearing off their clothes like some kind of wild animal.

Aziraphale laughed. “Someone’s eager,” he whispered to Crowley. 

Crowley held back a growl. He would kill to be able to do that to Aziraphale, to just pin him down and shred his clothes off. Maybe if he bought Aziraphale some clothes he didn’t care about he’d let him do that. For now he just shook his head and kissed his angel, removing his clothes at a slow pace. 

“What’s next?” Zira asked. 

Crowley and Aziraphale looked at him. He was still straddling Gabriel, hands resting on his chest, both of them naked. He looked at Aziraphale expectantly. 

“Well,” Aziraphale chuckled a little. “First you have to make an effort.” He nodded down at Zira’s lap. 

Zira looked down, confused. Then he looked at Gabriel, who’s dick was already hard, resting against his stomach. “Oh.” He hummed and thought about it for a moment, then nodded his head, creating a plump mound for himself. “How’s that?” he asked Gabriel.

“Perfect,” Gabriel said. 

Zira smiled, positively swelling with pride. “What now?”

Aziraphale couldn’t help but be charmed by Zira’s excitement. He was beginning to see now that if anyone was the slave in this relationship it was Gabriel. The way he was looking at Zira, Aziraphale had a feeling that if Zira asked Gabriel to walk into hellfire, he probably would.

“Here.” Aziraphale pushed Crowley away and started to remove his pants, adjusting his own effort to match Zira’s. “Lay down with me.”

Crowley grumbled and removed his own outfit. Gabriel sat up so that Zira could flop down and take his spot. Aziraphale finished undressing himself and laid down on the other side of the bed, giving Zira an encouraging smile. Gabriel’s eyes scanned over Zira’s body, which made Aziraphale shiver, because that was his body. His body that Gabriel was admiring, smiling over, lusting after. And then Crowley climbed on the bed and he let it go.

Zira’s fingers drummed against the bed in an erratic rhythm. 

“Just do what I do,” Crowley said. He laid down between Aziraphale’s legs and pressed his lips against his pussy. Aziraphale shivered as his tongue licked out at him, pushing the folds of skin open. Aziraphale moaned, Crowley’s tongue flicking over his clit. 

“That looks like fun, Gabriel,” Zira said, grabbing at his arm. “Let’s do that.”

Gabriel nodded and knelt between Zira’s legs. He craned his neck this way and that, trying to get a better look. “Crowley, I can’t see what you’re doing.”

Crowley groaned and pulled away, his mouth and chin wet. Aziraphale gave him a sympathetic smile but it didn’t really help. “Here, let me show you.” He shifted over, one hand reaching out towards Zira’s pussy.

“Oh no!” Zira clamped his legs shut, thighs shaking a bit. “Please don’t touch me!” Crowley drew his hand back. “It’s just that I love Gabriel very much and it would absolutely kill me if you were to touch me there.”

“Wow, okay,” Crowley said. 

Gabriel looked softly at Zira and rubbed his thigh gently, stilling their shake. “Perhaps you could show me on Aziraphale?”

“Hell no!” Crowley said.

“It’s okay,” Aziraphale said. “I don’t mind. It’s fine.”

“Nothing about this is fine,” Crowley grumbled. “Come here!” He moved back over to Aziraphale and Gabriel followed, leaning in much too close. 

Crowley took a controlled sigh and spread Aziraphale open with one hand. “Labia,” he said, one finger pressing against the folds of skin. “Clitoris.” He pressed gently against the bud, drawing a deep moan from Aziraphale. “Lick them. You can suck on this but don’t bite it!”

Gabriel nodded. “Got it.”

“Then go.”

Gabriel scrambled back over to his Zira, whose legs were still closed. He placed a hand on each knee. “Are you alright, sweetheart?”

Zira nodded, casting a worried glance over at Crowley, who had his face in Aziraphale’s lap again. 

“It’s okay,” Gabriel said, soothing thumbs running over his skin. “I’m won’t let him touch you. I won’t let anyone touch you.”

“But you’ll touch me, won’t you?”

Gabriel smiled, love in his eyes. “Of course.”

Zira smiled back and let his legs fall back open. Gabriel laid down between his legs, eyes widening as he took in the sight of him. “Beautiful,” he said. Zira giggled.

Gabriel opened him up with his thumbs, grunting in appreciation as the lips peeled back, revealing all of Zira to him. Zira shivered, a slight, breathy moan escaping his lips. Urged on by that sound, Gabriel inched forward. He stuck his tongue out and licked along the edges of Zira’s entrance. Another shiver. Another moan. Gabriel flicked his tongue of Zira’s clit and Zira’s body twitched, a lovely gasp filling the air. Gabriel smiled and continued to lick over the bud, pulling more grunts and moans from his love. 

“Oh, oh, Gabriel, yes!” Zira said, hand tossing out, grabbing a handful of Gabriel’s hair, pushing his tongue harder against him. 

At this Crowley had to stop to gather himself, as hearing Gabriel’s name moaned by Aziraphale’s voice was almost too much. But then Aziraphale’s hand was in his hair too, pulling softly, urging him on, thrusting his hips up. Crowley slipped his tongue inside, flicking it around, feeling Aziraphale’s muscles tighten around it. 

“Crowley!” Aziraphale called out. He grabbed the sheets of the bed, hand pulling Crowley’s hair hard as he came, Crowley lapping him up as he did so.

“What was that?” Gabriel asked. He pulled his face away from Zira’s pussy, earning him a whimper and a frown. 

“It was an orgasm,” Crowley said, licking his lips as he sat up. 

“Oh, yes. I’ve heard about those. How did you do that?”

Crowley rolled his eyes. He grabbed Aziraphale’s legs, giving them a quick squeeze. He was certainly going to have to make this up to him. “You just make him feel good,” he explained. “Once he feels good enough, he’ll come.”

“I see.” Gabriel nodded and returned to his post. 

“I’m sorry,” Aziraphale whispered as Gabriel got back to work. “I didn’t know he was so...inexperienced.”

“I’m buying you a new outfit,” Crowley said, rubbing the inside of Aziraphale’s thighs. “And you’re going to let me rip it off you and ravish your body.”

Aziraphale smiled at him. “That sounds lovely, dear.”

Their conversation was interrupted by Zira’s moans. He was writhing on the bed, head flopping back and forth on the pillow, both hands grabbing in Gabriel’s hair. His legs drew up, toes curling around the sheets as he came, practically squeaking.

“I did it,” Gabriel announced, big smile on his face as he sat up. 

“Congratulations,” Crowley mumbled, eyes rolling. 

“Thank you for your help,” Gabriel said. “This has been very informative.”

“Oh, we’re not done yet,” Crowley said. Then he cursed himself, he could have gotten rid of them damn it. 

“We’re not?”

“You still have a lot to learn,” Aziraphale said. 

Zira sat up on his elbows. “You mean there’s more?” His eyes lit up when Aziraphale nodded. “Can we do it, Gabriel?”

“Anything you want,” Gabriel told him. 

Zira smiled. “I want you.”

Crowley gagged. “Let’s just get on with it.”

He scooted forward and reached down, rubbing his finger between Aziraphale’s lips. He rubbed Aziraphale’s thigh with his free hand, his finger easily slipping inside his love. 

“What are you doing now?” Gabriel asked.

“I’m getting him ready for my dick,” Crowley said, pulling his finger in and out slowly, making Aziraphale squirm. 

“You just, put your finger in there?” Gabriel asked. Crowley simply hummed. 

Gabriel sat forward, hand resting on Zira’s knee. He placed his finger against Zira’s entrance, Zira looking at him with trusting, eager eyes. He pushed in. But the thing was, Gabriel figured something like that should hurt. So it did. 

Zira’s face scrunched up and he whined, turning his head to the side and biting his lip. As soon as Gabriel noticed this he pulled away, glaring at Crowley with murder in his eyes. How dare he make him hurt his Zira.

“It feels good, Gabriel,” Aziraphale said, getting an idea of what was happening. 

“It does?” Gabriel asked. Zira was frowning, his jaw quivering, and Gabriel’s hands squeezed into fists.

“Oh, yes,” Aziraphale said. 

He nodded at Crowley, who slipped a second finger in, pulling the two apart gently inside him. He turned and curled them, rubbing Aziraphale just the right way and Aziraphale let his head fall back, moaning to let Crowley know just how much he appreciated that. 

“Just try it again,” Aziraphale said, finding it hard to get enough breath to speak.

Gabriel looked down at his Zira, who still looked so miserable. He had done this to help him, not hurt him. But he had a great trust in Aziraphale, if not Crowley. “Is it alright?” Gabriel asked, finger moving back to Zira’s hole.

Zira bit his knuckle and nodded. Gabriel pressed his finger in again and, just as Aziraphale had expected, Zira’s face fell open in pleasure and he gasped out. Much better.

Gabriel watched Zira’s face with rapt attention as he moved his finger in and out. He had seen Crowley add a second finger so he did too, Zira squirming and moaning as he did. If that’s what two fingers did, what about three? Zira cried out in pleasure as Gabriel put another finger in, the three stretching him wide as they worked. Then Gabriel remembered how Zira had reacted when he licked his clit and he pressed a thumb to it, rubbing it as his fingers fucked him. 

Before long Zira was squirming on the bed again, moaning Gabriel’s name over and over, chanting it like a prayer. And it did sound so heavenly on his lips. Gabriel loved the way Zira’s muscles squeezed around him as he came, those beautiful juices spilling out, coating Gabriel’s fingers in love. 

Gabriel smiled and looked over at Crowley with pride in his eyes. 

“It’s not a fucking contest,” Crowley mumbled. 

Aziraphale chuckled. He knew that Gabriel didn’t know about the G-spot, so, essentially, all of Zira’s vagina would feel as good as that when touched. No wonder he came again so soon. Aziraphale ground his hips down, forcing Crowley’s fingers deeper. “I’m ready, Crowley,” he said. 

“There’s more?” Gabriel asked. He was still finger fucking Zira, thumb still rubbing. Zira certainly didn’t seem to mind. Aziraphale made a mental note to have him and Crowley play with the laws of biology next time they were alone.

“Last step,” Crowley said. 

He pulled his fingers out, slowly, enjoying the way Aziraphale groaned as he played with him a bit. He pushed Aziraphale’s legs open wider, climbing up on his knees towards him. He stroked his cock a few times, sharing an endearing look with his love. A look ruined by the way Zira was moaning and Gabriel was watching them closely. 

“Two outfits I can rip off you,” Crowley said, grabbing Aziraphale’s hips and lifting him up. 

“Three,” Aziraphale added. 

Crowley growled and entered him, the two moaning together as he slid inside, wet, hot, and easy. 

“Oh! Oh that Gabriel!” Zira cried. “I want to do that!” 

“Whatever you want, sweetheart.” 

Gabriel pulled his fingers away and scrambled forward. Zira lifted himself off the bed, legs coming up to wrap around Gabriel’s waist. His pussy was pressing against Gabriel’s dick, and Gabriel had forgotten that he, too, could feel pleasure down there. He placed a hand under Zira’s back, holding him up, and reached between them with the other to help guide him in. 

Zira’s mouth opened but all that came out was a breathless, low-pitched squeak as Gabriel slid inside him. Gabriel stopped for a moment, fully inside him, scanning his face. He was unsure if this was alright, as Zira wasn’t making any noise.

“Don’t stop,” Zira said, his voice cracking and soft. 

Gabriel pulled back, then pushed in again, a slow, cautious pace. Meanwhile Crowley had leaned forward, Aziraphale’s legs hooked under his arms. He was pressing endless kisses to Aziraphale’s neck as he moaned. Gabriel mimicked his lean, finding that as he moved forward Zira’s hips raised higher, and Gabriel’s dick was able to get even deeper inside him. 

Zira’s arms wrapped around Gabriel, fingernails digging into his back as he moaned, and squirmed. He came again, Gabriel grunting as Zira’s pussy tightened around him, sending jolts of electricity through his body.

Crowley grumbled, biting down on Aziraphale’s neck just a little bit too hard in his frustration.

“Don’t worry about them, my love,” Aziraphale whispered. He rubbed one hand up and down on Crowley’s back, wrapping the other up in his hair. “Just focus on us. On how good you’re doing.”

Crowley whimpered. “Aziraphale, please.” He didn’t want Gabriel to witness this intimate moment. Not that he was paying any attention to them with how absorbed in Zira he was. 

Aziraphale’s voice lowers to a barely audible whisper, heard by Crowley only because Aziraphale’s lips were right next to his ear. “You make me feel so good, Crowley. You’re so good to me, so good for me. Nobody else could make me feel like this.”

Crowley growled, trying to hold back his orgasm. “Aziraphale,” he pleaded. 

“Come for me, darling. Please. I want to feel you fill me up.”

Crowley never could deny Aziraphale any request. He shuddered in Aziraphale’s arms as he came, feeling himself spill into Aziraphale. Aziraphale tightened around him, joining him in his climax. 

Crowley collapsed on top of Aziraphale, breathing hard as he came down. Aziraphale kissed the top of his head and smoothed his hair down. Their sweet moment of afterglow was interrupted by yet another orgasm being pulled out of Zira.

“Seriously?” Crowley asked, mumbling into Aziraphale’s shoulder. 

“Harder, Gabriel,” Zira said. “Faster. More!”

Gabriel complied. He snapped his hips back and forth, slamming into Zira with a supernatural force. As he caught a glimpse of Crowley and Aziraphale, he smiled to himself. He was stronger than Crowley, faster, better. He could please his love so much better. Zira’s fingernails scratched at Gabriel’s back as he came again, neither of them thinking it should draw blood. It would leave marks, however.

The two didn’t stop and Crowley sighed. “You gonna finish up over there anytime soon?” He got up on an elbow, head resting on his hand. “I don’t wanna be here all day.”

Zira whimpered, legs locking tighter around Gabriel. “No! Please don’t stop!”

“One more,” Gabriel said, kissing Zira’s cheek. 

Zira whined. “Two more?”

Gabriel chuckled, kissed him again. “Very well.”

Crowley rolled his eyes and laid back down, letting Aziraphale’s hands soothe over his shoulders and back. He screwed his eyes shut, trying to block out the sounds that came from the other side of the bed. 

Zira came again and Gabriel knew that he should be getting close. After all, both people were supposed to orgasm right? He continued to fuck into his love, grunting slightly as Zira scratched at his back and called out his name in ecstasy. When Zira’s muscles squeezed around him again, Gabriel didn’t want it to end. Zira felt so good beneath him, sounded so lovely as he came over and over. But Gabriel still had a shred of mind left, and that shred knew that they had overstayed their welcome. 

So as Zira covered Gabriel’s dick in more lovely juices, he let himself finish, pumping his own fluid inside of Zira, earning himself a surprised gasp, followed by a deep moan. Gabriel’s muscles felt a bit week. Zira’s legs unwrapped from him, but his arms tightened their grip, pulling Gabriel down into a hug. 

“Oh that was simply lovely, Gabriel,” Zira said. “Thank you.”

Gabriel smiled. He kissed Zira’s cheek. “Anything for you.”

Zira smiled at him and kissed him back. 

“Alright, alright,” Crowley said, sitting up. “Are we done here? Good.” He snapped his fingers and the four of them were fully clothed again. 

Zira frowned, holding Gabriel close. 

“Come on, sweetheart,” Gabriel said, climbing off the bed. Zira pouted but got up after him. “Let’s go home.”

“Can we do that again?” Zira asked. He grabbed Gabriel’s arms, resting his head against his shoulder. 

Gabriel smiled and kissed his forehead. “Of course.” And they were gone, disappearing with a clap of thunder. 

Aziraphale sat up, wrapping his arms around Crowley’s neck. He kissed his cheek. “Thank you, darling. I appreciate you so much.”

Crowley blushed. “It’s still weird, right?”

“Very,” Aziraphale agreed. “But, there’s not much we can do about it. At least they’re happy.”

Crowley scoffed. “Happy or brainwashed?”

Aziraphale kissed him again. “We don’t have to see them again.”

“Sure. Until little Zira over there decides he wants a dick and Gabriel needs help figuring that out.”

Aziraphale laughed and snuggled up to him. “Well, my dear. You will be an excellent teacher in that as well.”

-

Gabriel sat on the couch in his office. Zira was laying against him, back to his side, book open on his lap. He had such a beautiful smile on his lips. Gabriel kissed the top of his head. “I love you, Zira,” he said.

Zira looked up at him with sparkling eyes. “I love you, too, Gabriel.”

Gabriel smiled but the last few days had been miserable. Sure it was great. Zira was great. Perfect. Everything he could hope for. But every time he said those words, I love you, all Gabriel could hear was Aziraphale saying ‘Because you’re forcing him to.’

Gabriel sighed and leaned his head back. He did love Zira. So much. So much that he would ruin his own life to make him happy? Absolutely.

Gabriel ran a hand over Zira’s hair, memorizing the way he looked, how this moment felt. And then he took it away. He took away Zira’s need to love him. Left everything else, because he was perfect. Now he was perfect, and he wasn’t Gabriel’s. 

Zira clearly felt something happen, but he just shook his head and kept on reading. 

“You can go now,” Gabriel told him. 

“Oh?” Zira leaned his head back, looking up at Gabriel. “Where are we going?”

Gabriel shook his head. Poor thing was still coming out of it. “No. You can go.”

Zira’s face bunched up in confusion. “Where would you like me to go?”

“No, Zira.” Gabriel got up, pushing Zira away a bit too roughly perhaps. “You’re free okay? So just leave.”

Zira sat on his knees, lips quivering. “But I don’t want to go.”

“Of course you do. You couldn’t want to stay here, with me.”

Zira’s eyes watered. “Why not?”

Because nobody would want that, Gabriel thought. Nobody would want to love me. Why do you think I had to make you? 

“Gabriel you’re not making any sense.” Zira got off the couch and walked over, grabbing Gabriel’s arm. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Just go, okay? You aren’t doing me any favors by pretending.”

Zira shook his head. “I don’t want to go! I want to stay here with you.”

“No you don’t.”

“Why don’t you believe me! Why are you doing this? Please!”

Gabriel groaned, placing a hand on Zira’s head. Clearly he hadn’t taken out all of it. He blinked. It was gone. Nothing was forcing Zira to love him. He just did. He...wanted to? Gabriel looked down at his tearing eyes.

“You said you wouldn’t let me go,” Zira pleaded. “I love you, so please don’t make me go.”

“Why?” Gabriel asked. “Why do you love me?”

Zira looked so hurt, as if Gabriel not knowing was a great offense. “Because you’re amazing! Gabriel you’re so strong and confident! And you make me really happy!”

“I do?”

“Yes!”

“Right now? I make you happy right now?”

“Well, right now you’re scaring me, but, yeah.”

Gabriel frowned. That couldn’t be right. He had given Zira a real choice and he had chosen him? 

Zira stepped forward and hugged him, nuzzling his face against Gabriel’s neck. Gabriel slowly let his arms come around him. It couldn't be right. This couldn’t be happening. No one of their own free will would choose him.

“I love you, Gabriel,” Zira said. 

Perfect, Gabriel thought. Perfect and his.


End file.
